NOTE: I've recently been struggling to finish anything I set down temporarily, and because I need to get this info out, I've decided to release this unedited half-baked rambling draft thingy. More info may or may not be coming soon.
A blog wherein I apologize and explain my absence.
More than two months.
That's indeed a long time.
Let me explain why:
(in a randomly organized essay thing)
My weird obsessive need for perfection (and memes)
On the title, I had spent a good thirty minutes looking for a SOH (start of heading unicode character) just so the title could look the way I wanted without weebly messing it up.
I then left this draft open in the editor for a couple days, before even REMEMBERING to save the meager progress I had made with it.
Then only just now mustered up the strength to finish it despite Weebly's weird and infuriating glitches and bugs.
Of course you (the human/bot/animal/alien/whatever reading this) don't see any evidence of this; what you get is the sum output of my messy, inconsistent , forgetful, woefully broken writing process.
You may also think that I must be crazy to start with a subheading about perfectionism, and be talking about what seems more like forgetfulness.
But really the two actually go together (in my case anyway), as what's basically been happening is I get overwhelmed with this urge to make my posts well written and perfect and formatted in amazingly fantastic and complicated ways that Weebly is apparently to poorly made to handle. (You know, fancy stuff like colored text. Or text size consistency in a single paragraph.)
And then I just can't handle it and push it all out of my mind and procrastinate.
And then forget.
When I do finally come back to it, I look at it and basically think that that the raw basic parts of my draft aren't good enough. Or that the draft needs to be completely reorganized. Or that I should modify my points in ways that would require throwing out most of what I had managed to write.
This causes me to end up just avoiding messing with it, because either I have to rewrite stuff, or just abandon it, or post it "as is". Which would be posting incomplete garbage.
Already, these are some pretty serious and extremely broken things that are evident in my writing process. But it gets worse-
My problem of extreme (and extremely weird) distractibility
I do not have these graces.
For one, my nature is pretty much to be constantly destractible for some reason. Who knows, really.
I am also incredibly good at ending up on random unrelated tangents (as I like to say, "tangerines") everywhere in every way possible.
This isn't always necessarily a bad thing, this, "tangibility", let's call it, has led to me finding some really awesome cool obscure parts of the web, and also added to my knowledgeability.
But this also makes it REALLY freaking hard for me to get focused on something. (I mean, once I am, I am REALLY focused)
But I constantly have lots of tabs open, whether they be Twitter, browser games, Wikipedia articles, cool neocities sites, or whatever.